1. |
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„what are we without words and their passion?
what are we without the power of amplifying damage
to all of those who are lost to this so-called ’great attraction’?
what are we without the love of life that we never knew?
what are we without vagueness embracing reconciled addictions?
what are we without our unknown pleasures?
what are we without wondering,questioning,dreaming
if we don’t let it all wear us out?
let it all wear us out!”
-setting pen to paper
something i’ve done for a while
after sleeping,before the sun is up
always without a grimace or a smile
it’s about honesty or at least i thought so
but i haven’t composed anything for 2 years
anyway,yesterday i wrote a poem
that’s how we finally arrive here
a handful of questions strike me at once
and i am sure about only one thing:
we can deceive ourselves,but
we clearly know nothing
is my youthfulness wrapped in vanity?
at fifteen or at twenty six -
it doesn’t change a thing with aging
i feel like i’m eighty after a quarter of a century
yes,a poem was written,but i set fire to that piece of paper -
everything was assumed in the decades of waiting,
of waiting for something or of waiting for someone
did you lose track of time with your sense of wonder?
well,the truth is… we all did
„and truth is synonymous with old age and death
but it doesn't hurt anymore”
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2. |
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sleeplike within self-made hells and heavens
cursed beds holding damned kids and their crying lovers
read your poems to the wall of your condemned rooms
or sweep them away if those lines mean anything to you
carve some words into your limbs
if you are ready to write any hymns
for these pretty eyed kids and their clenched fists
i swear i never wanted to write this song again
but fighting the world trough a song keeps me sane
it's 4 am and i am salting wounds with our demise
and i am sure you don't wanna know this mad man's mind
is that so-called 'love' all i've ever had?
will it be the only thing i'll ever have?
the empty mirrors,the saddest songs,
the flickering light,all my right and wrongs
your shameful faces,my overactive thoughts,
my long lost innocence- thanks to all of you,you fucks
all of my secrets are dragging me down
i am the most apathetic silhouette of this ghost town
and without words i've promised too much
can you feel,my dear...
my cold,cold touch?
"i'm sorry darling,
i fucking tried
and if you didn't know :
you have my heart
when i couldn’t talk this was all i wanted to say”
...
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3. |
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(we are your forgotten heartbreaks
and we're here to haunt all of your days
we won't rest until you're insane
because we promised we won't shriek in vain)
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4. |
Everyday Kalopsia
02:39
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...
but i woke up next to you the other day
and nothing was the same,
somehow nothing's ever changed
so i have to ask this once again:
"is there a point in composing depressing refrains?"
and i know you would say:
"yes,my dear,otherwise there's a big chance
we'll go completly insane"
who would frame the lives of these kids without fate?
who would hum a song about love,life,trust and faith
when we just can’t relate to anything?
this is getting so nostalgic
who are we supposed to be?
we are all we’ve left here-
a remixed version of our tragedy
hollowness is dripping as the clock counts
my myriad late night fights
seconds became decades,thanks for this plague
you say we can't understand
and here's our shallow end
i am truly fucked to hell
it's desperate,it became counterfeit
and it's the biggest non-sense
this is the most severe that we felt
this is my hands shredding through our chests
to skin the love from our hearts
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5. |
Sempiternal Timelapses
02:09
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insert your own words
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6. |
The Crush Of The Century
04:08
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blinding lights;the sun sets above me
on a rusty train we hug mediocrity
nothing left but bittersweet apathy
just a flash: running to the room of diversity
for a worn out half-prophecy
that attaches to our hips
and grasps onto our lips
it’s the bed of lies that we lie in
we’re slowly ‘dancing’, skin against skin
just a flash: can this be an actual sin?
young bodies keep moving to the beat
of “we lack the energy” composed misery
nostalgia,blood,sweat,noise and injury
it’s our distorted symphony
well,sympathy’s a not needed accessory
is that you really wanna hear and see?
are we choosing to cope with our fear?
anyhow,one thing’s sure:
i’ll miss you dear
although we were never close,i guess we’ll never be
i’ll remember your face in bitter melodies,
in a handful of sorrowful songs to sing and scream
and no, a goodbye kiss doesn’t work as a remedy
was there a promising alternative?
was there something we believed in?
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7. |
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"...and for a lifetime it seemed i would bury all of this,
demolish every taunting aspects of myself being tied to you
instead i built a castle of anguish inside me to keep everyone out
i emerged to make these walls and i did so by empowering
the sickness i found in our hearts
i’m leaving home,may i walk the wildness freely?
along with petty images of mystery
uncertain futures started bursting at the seams
so every now and then i still look behind at that castle i constructed
but i feel strong enough now to deliver this final message:
>>i promise i will
confess my love for everything...<<
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8. |
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we are still promising too much without words
and we let our entire bodies shake
to the deafening songs we've never heard
(is this our future heartbreak?)
ohh,orchestra of nothingness,
just kill every dead-beat kids!
-including me…
because i swear tonight is the bleakest
ohh,ceremony of bittersweet harmonies
let the background fade into animosity
well,it’s sometimes kind of refreshing,
but i'm afraid i just can’t bury any of this...
in truth i could not demolish every taunting aspects of myself being tied to you
instead i built a castle of anguish inside me to keep everyone out
i did emerge to make these walls and i did so by empowering
the sickness i found in our hearts
i’m leaving home,may i walk the wildness freely?
i shall leave that grand building that i proudly erected"
... and this is what he said
and he was shivering all along
his stomach was in his mouth
and his hands were at his neck
is that the sign that his life will end tonight?
even if he did not believe in anything anymore
he still fainted for old love songs
„was there really anything or just youthful lust?”
he’s in between rights and wrongs
with a mixture of awe and disgust
he is mourning the daylight
that is yet to come
„it’s that wretched 3 am again
by 5 i am surely dead and gone”
yes,there's a harmony of giving up on everything you care about
he's the loneliest kid without any doubt
lying to liars and falling for the fallen
and in the end all the hearts are swollen
he finds faith in depressing ballads
all of those songs about taking his life sounds so valid
so he keeps nodding to those beats
and the tapping of his feet
become trembles on the shaking ground
that and his whispering are his only sound
„can i ever have another chance at life if i threw it away?
will i be remembered or will i perish in dismay?”
through panic attacks and long laments
i am shifting into a nightmare
and just to let you know,this is how it went:
>>i promise no suicide pact but a life of false happiness<<
and he dances to the misery of his life playbacked in his ears
but don't you ever worry about him,
tonight this is all he wants to hear
he wants to dedicate the last song
with watered eyes he’s shouting at the black sky:
„can i ever have another chance at life if i threw it away?
can i ever have another chance at life if i threw it away?
will i be forgotten or will someone miss me?
just tell me…
i want the answers now and here,
it’s only everything,it’s only everything…
...
...
I PROMISE I WILL CONFESS MY LOVE FOR EVERYTHING”
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9. |
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insert your own words
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